a weaker state
by sectumsempra394
Summary: after rose and lissas return to st. vlads they go back into their old high school roles. but things arent the same especially when jesse zeklos finds out their secret. anti jesse zeklos. some lemony moments coming probably. rose/dimi -lissa/christian a little too. enjoy!
1. Love me

After being caught by dimitri and taken back to the st. Vlads academy rose and Lissa start getting back to their normal high school habits!

Being back at the academy was a bit of a relief really. As much as I wanted Lissa to be safe and as willing as I was to drop whatever I was doing to protect her I missed the attention and friends I had. Everyone excepted me back with open arms well everyone except this new bitch Mia. Dressed like a little porcelain doll I guess she decided to take her chances with Lissa's old boyfriend Aaron and move through the ranks of being popular. And now she's made it her life goal to make Lissa's and my life miserable. Spreading fake rumors and bending the rules to get on our nerves and let me just say it's working. If I wasn't on probation I would knock her prim proper little face back down to the bottom of the kiddy pool.

It had been about two weeks since we got back some of the buzz and rumors of our fantastic escape and return had dimmed down, but every once in awhile we would get whispers passing glances and some people were even ballsy enough to upfront ask about it trying to get details. I'd usually remark with one of my well known sarcastic " wouldn't you like to know" comebacks. Lissa seemed to adjust fine but she didn't like the attention like I did and she kept feeling like she had besmirched her families name. I kept trying to comfort her but the more she noticed me adjusting more quickly the worse she kept feeling  
"Liss don't worry okay." I said to her during lunch as I read her mind " if anything your better than any of these uptight royal bitches. They are the ones that should be ashamed. They aren't really helping their family name spreading lies about people and ruining lives" Lissa looked up at me and shook her head " you shouldn't say that rose, if I want to be part of the royal groups when I graduate I have to get in good with the families now" I scoffed not even believing that she was considering stooping to the level of a snobby uptight royal. " you're not like them Liss and you don't need to be. They will grow up hating everyone they are meant to love and back stabbing eachother just to get in good with others who they will end up doing the same to. You'll be up there with the queen higher up than any of those bitchy royal bastards. " I took a bite of my pizza realizing lunch was almost over " you'll probably be ruling them all one day and then what will they do. Backstabbing others won't get them on your good side" she smiled at that a small glimmer of hope appeared in her mind before it was trumped by more darkness. " I don't think I'll be queen but thanks" I finished stuffing my face with the rest of my pizza before I spoke again " trust me Liss your better than any of these guys. Just wait you'll be-" before I could finish talking Jesse zeklos stopped next to me. He was super hot with his messy dirty blond hair and slightly muscled chest. I'd love to rub my body against that bare muscled chest. " yo rose I guess your escape plan didn't work. Which is a relief don't know what I would do without your charm. There are so many things I haven't gotten to do with you yet." he winked at me and with normal girls they would have swooned but I was way too cool to let him know how damn hot I thought he was. " oh really" I responded slyly " and what exactly are these 'things'" he leaned in close to my ear letting me feel his warm breath on my neck as he spoke . " why don't you meet me in the moroi lounge tonight and you can find out" he pulled himself up and smiled. " see you then?" He waved. Lissa stared at me in awe " seriously rose?" She sighed " you know your on probation. How are going to be able to go see him" she swirled her spoon in her barely eaten yogurt. I shrugged " I'll just say we have a project together that's due tomorrow. They'll have to let us 'work' together" we dumped our trays and headed towards our class. I was so thankful I had almost the whole last half of the day with Lissa. I spent most of it telling her what I was hoping would happen with Jesse. I wasn't sure I wanted to go as far as sex but I was willing to get close. I guess that made me a tease but since my chances of being with dimitri were about as slim as me not being Lissa guardian I decided I would have some fun. She spent it trying to convince me that Christian was not as bad as he seems but I'd dint listen. He just didn't seem very trustworthy to me. I meaning didn't think he would go strigoi any time soon like his parents but his attitude and personality didn't help him much. I didn't know how much I liked Lissa running around with him. I kept telling her that but she would always counter with "you just need to get to know him." If only she knew that I knew enough thanks to the bond and their stolen kisses in the church.  
The rest of the day was boring but ended quickly. Training was the same as usual run laps outside while dimitri reads a book. Totally unfair but my mind was elsewhere. Practice went by slowly as I running all I could think about was making out with dimitri instead of Jesse tonight. Thinking of his soft lips brushing against me. I shook off the thoughts I needed to get over him he was my instructor. I needed to be with someone who wanted me and I could actually have. When training was over I still had a few hours before my meet up with Jesse so I decided to go through some of the books the priest gave me on Vladimir and Anna. No matter how thoroughly I dug through the books I only kept finding the same thing ' and shadow kissed Anna was there for him as he was for her. They were bound with the strength of his spirit keeping away the demons he continually fought' there were those words again. " shadow-kissed and bound" it was obvious they had a bond like Lissa and I but I still couldn't understand the shadow kissed part. Frustrated I chucked the book across the Room and laid down on my bed. Still a little while till I had to meet up with Jesse I decided to see what Lissa was up to. I found a spot on the ceiling and stared at it concentrating on the bond. Soon the ceiling faded and the small attic of the church appeared. Christians face materialized in front of me closer than I would have liked. I caught my breathe apparently I had come in at a very strong emotional moment. Lissa's heart and mind were rushing with anticipation as she (and I) felt his ice blue eyes gaze into hers as she lay on top of him. I realized after looking through Lissa's mind that this had all happened quite suddenly. She was climbing up a pile of boxes to reach a book she wanted but fell. Christian caught her and now we're here. Lissa abruptly stood up flustered and brushed the dust of her light pink dress. " uh thanks" she stammered as she walked over to the window. Christian sat up and crossed his legs on the floor. " ya no problem" the tension grew thicker as time passed in silence. It was Christian who broke it " so what's that book". I was actually wondering that too. It was a history of Vladimir written by someone from his era. She apparently noticed the connection I did in church of Vladimir and Anna and me and Lissa. " just some history project" she lied. She tossed the book onto the floor and silence fell between them again. Her heart pounded in her chest as she thought of those crystal blue eyes staring at her from before. She was deep in thought that she didn't hear him move next to her. She jumped when turned and stared straight into his eyes. I mentally role my eyes at the ridiculous tension between them and then out of the blue their lips met. His lips were warm and soft and felt myself falling deep into the kiss. At first it was slow and shy even then the passion spread up and it was like an animal fire had ignited inside them both. I was enraptured in his kiss his lips hugged mine with a passion so deep. Shit I didn't want this I didn't want to be making out with Christian. I pulled and pulled trying desperately to get out of Lissa's head. ' you don't want this' ' this isn't you' ' get back in your head' after a couple more tugs I was able to break free. I found my self breathing heavily as I returned into my room. Ugh what a night. Thankfully it was time to go meet Jesse and I couldn't ask for a better distraction. I dug through my closet for something promiscuous enough to tease Jesse and found the perfect sexy red la button up top. As I entered the moroi dorms I found Jesse over in the corner. He looked up when I reached the table and I could tell my top did the trick. He's eyes looked me over and I could only guess what he was thinking. " well damn girl you sure do dress to impress" he chuckled " let's go somewhere a little more private. There's a lounge on the their floor and never gets any use" he looped his arm through mine and we snuck past the matron upstairs. As I plopped down on the slightly dusty couch I watched as Jesse quickly took off his shirt showing his marvelous abs which were rare on a moroi guy which made it that much more appealing. He leaned in close to me so close our noses met. " so?" She spoke softly as our eyes stay locked. "So" I replied smiling as felt his bare chest on my hands. He was warm so warm. Silence took us for a quick minute and I realized I wasn't the only pro at being a tease. Before anything else was said a our lips met and I was hoping for a long passionate kiss but instead it was kind of wet and sloppy. I guess most girls were too entranced by his looks to care much about his kissing but after mentally making out with Christian I realized he was pretty bad if Christian was a better kisser. I quickly pushed away the thought a of my earlier forced kiss with Christian wanting to forget that it happened. I tried becoming lost in the moment. I mean here I was making out with one of the hottest boys and all I could think about was my earlier troubles. I pushed aside my troubles and started unbuttoning my blouse revealing a very sexy black lace bra. Our lips disconnected so we could catch our breath and soon I could feel his lips back on me but not on my own but on my chest. He slowly moved toward my neck and a quickly felt his fangs slide across my skin. I let out a small gasp remembering the sensation that vampire saliva gave me. He stopped and stared at me. A confused look covered his feature but then a knowing look replaced it. " oh my god" he spoke quietly he stayed silent hoping he hadn't realized what I believed he just had. " that's how you did it. That's how she was fed. You did it you let her drink from you" he smirked " and you liked it" that pissed me off " I did not I only did it to keep her safe" I could have denied it I probably should have denied it but something told me he wouldn't have believed me if I said I didn't feed her. " look at your face you totally did. What are you like an addict now?" I glared at him hoping it was a menacing as I wanted it to be. Apparently not. " whatever" he shrugged "makes this more fun for me" I tried shoving him off as he tried to lean towards my neck again. "I'm not letting you drink from me" I shouted at him. He grabbed my wrists tighter than I would have liked. His expression had changed it more more animal than before it frightened me. He smirked again and I decided now I hated that smug smirk of his. " oh come on you know you like it." He leaned in closer to my neck gently brushing his fangs against y skin. I gasped again this time louder than before which gave away just how much I did long for the high that comes with being bitten. I felt dirty wanting such a thing. I felt no better than a blood whore. He took my gasp as a yes and to my dismay his fangs dug into the side of my neck. at first I tried to fight him off and I could feel a tear leak from my eye and a wimper of the word no leave my lips but I soon felt the high I had long been anticipating.

::please point out any grammar mistakes and I will fix them. Just be nice about It.:: **THANKS FOR READING **Chapter two coming soon -how will rose handle jesses new attitude-


	2. Hurt me

hope everyone liked chapter one :3 here is chapter two enjoy ( I don't own any vampire academy)

A feeling of euphoria spread over me as I lay there. I knew what was happening around me but as long as jesses fangs were in me I had no way to stop him. Every touch seemed softer every sound was louder every color was brighter. The world was beautiful I loved everything and everyone. It was like that until Jesse finally removed his fangs it felt like forever but yet not long enough I could still feel the wonderful effects from the bite and they would last quite a while but now I was more than aware of what was happening. I could feel jesses hands down below my waste pushing up my skirt. I could feel the cold touch of his fingers as he quickly removed my clothes. Tears streamed down my face as I laid there as if frozen unable to move. I couldn't believe this was happening this isn't how I wanted this to happen at all and definitely not with him. He thrusted inside me making me moan at the pleasurable agony that was happening to my body. More and more tears fell down my face as I watched horrified as he took advantage of me with that stupid smirk spread across his face. He leaned in close to my face. I closed my eyes tight as I felt his breath on me. I opened my eyes he was still wearing that stupid smile but his eyes were malicious. I could see the evil gears working behind them. He knew he could pretty much do whatever he wanted to me and I would just lie there. And no one would ever believe the run away dhamphir who whores herself off to every guy if I told them. I choked up on my tears as he spoke. " oh don't cry you know you liked that. If you want I can give your more" he leaned down and I thought I was in for another high induced bite but instead he pressed his lips to mine, Sloppily and hungrily devouring my mouth. His hands wrapped around my body as his body pressed into mine. I could feel the warmth of my blood still dripping down my neck and I could tell he took no care in making the bite marks unnoticeable. I closed my eyes tight my sobs silenced by Jesses hungry lips. His lips let go of mine as he continued to bear down on me. It felt so filthy yet somehow so good which made me feel even worse about myself. There was nothing else I could do but hope that this would be over soon. For the first time in my life I prayed though I didn't know who I was praying to is guess just whoever was listening. Apparently someone up there was listening to me. It happened so quickly it was hard to tell what had actually just happened. The door slammed open and the godly figure of dimitri charged in ripped Jesse off my now bruised and vulnerable body. From far away I still noticed a bit of blood on his lips and it seemed dimitri noticed as well. Without a moments hesitation dimitri threw Jesse against the wall and landed two harsh blows to his face removing that wretched smirk that haunted my mind. Dimitri then flung him towards the open door " GET OUT!NOW!BEFORE I DO MORE THAN PUNCH YOU" Jesse took no pause and, terrified, disappeared out the door. Dimitris angry face vanished as a look of concern and worry appeared. He gently helped me sit up as he draped his duster over my frail body. The world started to spin from the high and I collapsed into dimitris arms and I began to sob. My eyes stung from the tears and I could hardly breath between sobs. Dimitri held me in his arms silently for as long as I needed. I griped his arm struggling to catch my breath trying so hard to stop crying but the tears just kept coming. I could feel dimtris arms tighten around me and his chin rest on my head. " oh roza" his voice was so soft " I'm so sorry I didn't get here in time. I came to check on you and when you weren't in your room I looked everywhere. If only I had gotten here sooner. I'm so sorry roza" the sound of his voice saying my name calmed me. I laid there wrapped in his arms silently as horrible thoughts raced through my mind. I was so weak I couldn't even fight off a moroi. How would I be a guardian someday if I let this happen to myself? How could I protect Lissa if I could even protect myself? I hated myself I felt vile and dirty. I felt like I belonged in a blood whore commune. I felt like I was worse than blood whores actually. Tears welled up inside me again but I forbid them to come out. I lifted my hand to my neck touching the now dried blood from the bite. It ached a little and I could tell there would more to cover up than just the bite marks tomorrow. I decided I didn't want to be in this room anymore so dimitri helped me get dressed since I still wasn't fully able to stand by myself. He decided that I should go to the infirmary. I began to argue saying it would just cause more problems for Lissa but my aching body and weak knees decided he was right. Dimitri lifted me in his arms and carried me to infirmary.  
Dr. Olendzki, the school nurse, looked me up and down quietly. She knew what had happened but stayed quiet through the whole check up. " well it seems nothing is broken and you didn't lose too much blood." She paused after that and glaced over at dimitri " could you excuse us for a second please" she asked him and he politely stepped outside the door. She closed the curtain surrounding the bed I was on as more of a precaution to privacy. She came over to me and rested her hand on mine " I can give you some cream to cover that up if you like" she looked at the bite mark I had been covering with my other hand. I could tell that's not what she had dimitri leave the room for but I could tell whatever she wanted to say was a touchy matter. " no thanks I have cover up I think it'll help." I replied quietly she smiled at me softly but her smiled soon turned back into a frown. " my dear" she started her eyes full of concern. " I know this is hard for you but I have to ask. When I did your check up your body had shown no signs of previous sexual encounters" my eyes looked up at her. This was so not what is was expecting her to say " you were a virgin before this weren't you" how embarrassing to hear that out loud. Most Girls my age were pretty promiscuous but I wanted to save myself for the one person who I loved, guess that's not gonna happen now. I sighed an nodded though I knew she was only asking to confirm what she had already known was true. She sighed and cupped my hand "I'm so sorry my dear. I couldn't imagine how horrible this must've been" she was right she couldn't. if I were her I wouldn't have even believed someone could be so cruel like that other than strigoi. I wondered why this question was important was it something I wasn't aware of or was she just concerned for me. " why did you want to know that" I asked her mimicking my thoughts aloud.  
" because this is no easy thing to deal with my dear and for his case against the court"  
" his case your taking him to the court for this?"  
" no he will be taken before a small court here at st. Vladimirs. I'm taking this matter to Ellen immediately and I would like as much information before I go"  
" I didn't even know we had a court" that struck me as odd  
" usually we don't use it because Ellen, I mean, head mistress Kirova decides and that's that but the court does become pertinent in matters like this. You see some people won't want to smear the name of a royal because a dhamphir said something. As horrible as it is a lot of moroi believe all dhamphir women to be blood whores guardians or not. Some might think that it was consensual this will help prove it wasn't"  
she let dimitri back in after she finished telling me everything. And decided to leave us alone after telling him I needed rest and that I should stay overnight. I began to lay back down still sore and feeling just as bad emotionally. Dimitri could see how horrible i felt." would you like me to go get Lissa" he knew he couldn't do a lot for me and I could tell he hoped Lissa could help. usually I would have loved her company but I didn't want her worrying about me when she was finally some what happy. " no I'll tell her later" he shifted his body more stoically and I thought he was going to leave. He probably thought I wanted to be alone but I didn't. That was the last thing I wanted, to be alone with my thoughts. " but-uhm- you don't have to go" he smiled at this, a soft wonderful smile that made my heart flutter. He sat down in a chair next to me and carefully moved some hair out of my face and slid his fingers through my hair. " roza" I loved when he said my name in Russian but it always meant some comforting words were coming after and usually they made me feel better but no words would make me feel better all I wanted was dimitri next to me and to sleep. " no, don't say anything" I squeezed his hand to show him I knew he cared and was concerned for me. " okay, I'm here when your ready" I could feel the pain in his voice of not being able to help me and I could hear the concerned tone but he stayed silent running one hand through my hair to calm me and holding my hand with the other. I slowly fell into darkness as sleep took me over hoping I would have to dream about this.

hope you enjoyed. I decided I'm going to update vampire academy stories on Monday/ Tuesdays. I'm going to try for weekly but if not you can count on biweekly.


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